


Jane Austen In Twenty Stanzas: A Limerick of Epic Proportions

by Shrubbery_Girl



Category: AUSTEN Jane - Works
Genre: Crack, Gen, Limerick, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 05:03:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1806289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shrubbery_Girl/pseuds/Shrubbery_Girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ultimate guide to all Jane Austen's major works. Now with end rhymes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jane Austen In Twenty Stanzas: A Limerick of Epic Proportions

  
There once was a lady named Jane  
Whose sharp tongue was everyone's bane.  
She once wrote a book  
And five more then, look!  
And then she stopped, which was a shame.

She was of a parson the daughter  
Tom Lefroy is said to have sought her.  
But Miss Austen tarried  
And never got married  
And no man could ever have caught her. 

They said her books are just romances  
With young suitors and parties and dances.  
But it is quite plain  
That this can't explain  
Of her stories the many nuances.

Her first novel was just a satire  
The second praised reason. Admire  
The third even more!  
It showed how a bore  
Like Collins won't get his desire.

The fourth showed how true patience can  
Turn everything right for sweet Fran.  
The fifth was a riddle  
(For Frankie did fiddle).  
The sixth showed a constant young man.

There are so many more that she wrote  
'A History …' I want to note.  
Websters 'Amelia'  
Is in _Juvenilia_.  
The famous works I will now quote.

She wrote of a lady named Susan  
Whose letters were rather amusing.  
She plotted a match  
And made a bad catch  
But beggars cannot be choosing.

She wrote of a horrible Abbey  
From which Catherine was sent with a cabbie.  
But Henry missed her  
When she was not there  
And proposed that they go to the Ordained Priest of the Church of England.

She wrote of three girls in distress  
Whose finances were in a mess.  
They met a young lad  
But he was quite mad  
And his love he did never profess.

Young Elinor's love was a smart one  
But his fiancée from Hell came to Barton.  
Her tales were quite juicy.  
She was sordid, young Lucy  
And a fortune she had set her card on.

In the end though it turned out quite well.  
Edward lost his fiancée from Hell.  
She married his brother.  
Marianne found another  
And Edward was happy with Nell.

She wrote of a lady called Lizzy  
Who made ev'ry gentleman dizzy  
When one lad of pride.  
Was after her hide  
She threw him a fit that was hissy.

He then wrote a letter to Lizzy  
Which contents in turn made her dizzy.  
He fought off his pride  
And thus saved his hide  
And in the end, he got his missy.

She wrote of a pretty poor maid  
Whose family's bills were not paid.  
Her sisters were terrors  
But more of their errors  
The authoress never has said.

She wrote of a shy lass named Frances  
Who had very slim marriage chances,  
Loved Edmund, not Harry  
But Edmund loved Mary  
And Fanny was left to learn dances.

But that Edmund whose heart beat for Mary  
Had a sister who ran off with Harry.  
'Thus Edmund is free!'  
Thought Fanny with glee.  
And in the end, him she did marry.

She wrote of a lady of means  
Who had quite a handful of spleens.  
Found a man for Miss Taylor  
(And he was no sailor)  
And that was just in her late teens.

Miss Taylor became Mrs Weston.  
That fame Emma did not just rest on  
She was told off by Knightley  
(He told her off rightly).  
His love he did later confess on.

She wrote of a Captain called Fred  
Whose lady thought his love was dead.  
He wrote her a letter  
And thus taught her better  
 ~~And after that, took her to~~  
And in the end - yes, they got wed!

She last wrote a town at the sea  
Where tourists would pay much for tea  
She could not complete  
This amazing -  
which is sad, really, considering what a wonderful premise it is.


End file.
